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First of all, what is an inside spoon? We all know about spooning, or the spoon sex position, with women taking the inside position all the time. Is it really possible that men also want to be spooned? Could it be that some men just want to be held? Tom from YourTango thinks so: “I enjoy being on the inside of a spoon and I’m a dude.”

I agree with that. There are times when men just don’t feel like hugging, and would prefer to be hugged. A lot of women love it when men ask to be hugged from behind. It tells her you’ve got a “vulnerable” side that she doesn’t see all the time.

During sex, however, being spooned (or held) can present a golden opportunity to teach her how to give you a hand job.

It’s a fact that most women don’t know exactly how their partners masturbate, because of their usual position during sex or foreplay (frontal handling). Now, when she’s behind you and she can reach for your penis on her own, in a position that mimics how you would hold your penis on your own, you can teach her how to give you a hand job properly.

How to teach her how to give you a hand job in 3 simple steps:

1. Her arm (s) will be across your chest or waist. You can nudge her arm down and gently guide her hand to your stiffening penis and just let her play with it initially.

2. Close your hand over hers so you can control the speed of the hand movement and the tightness of the grip.

3. You can go for the full “spoon hug” and ask her to play with your balls using her other hand.

There you have it, some romantic pleasuring while you’re being vulnerable. The key to this is to keep telling her she’s doing good and that you are extremely gratified by the way she’s touching you.

Single or not, most men feel the pressure to get laid when it’s time to go out, particularly during Valentine’s. One guy’s experience with this type of “seasonal” pressure tells us not to reserve a room at the last minute, always replenish condom stock and do not… do NOT… drink more than a few of the free-for-all beers at the bar near your hotel.

Why is V-day such a big deal? It’s because women expect to be made love to during Valentine’s.

If you drink too much, you might last only for a few rounds max. If you don’t have a good place to “take it further” when the need arises, you may just lose the mood. If she’s your girlfriend, she might understand why you’re a bit off that night, but if she’s someone you just met and seduced while Michael Buble was belting one out, you have a problem.

Trust me on this: More than half of the women you will meet in this lifetime will think a Valentine’s day hook up is fated. No woman can resist the lure of celebrating your future anniversary(-ies) on the 14th of February. Still think Valentine’s isn’t a big deal to women? Lance has this to say about Valentine’s day and women: “Don’t forget Valentine’s Day, and If You Do, Fake It”

It’s that big.

What to do to stave off the performance anxiety demon during your date?

1. Say it’s special but think otherwise.

Before you think of tossing a rotten tomato my way, hear me out. This is a necessity to keep the stiffy during sex. If you keep thinking “this date is special to her so I have to turn it into the best sex of her life!”, you’ll probably put too much pressure on yourself to do just that.

2. It’s not just intercourse

Romance to a woman means getting ‘loved up’ all over. That means actions involving tongue, lips and fingers. If you feel too pressured to keep your erection, you can always use your skills to turn her on.

Have a happy Valentine’s date!

If you haven’t grabbed the free female orgasm book yet, this is the time to do so. Our topic today is “navigation to the g spot” and this guide will come in handy.

Let’s do this exercise. Look down for a moment and in your mind’s eye, visualize what you’d probably see down there when you’re with a hot woman right now and she’s just about to take her clothes off. Does it look bent to the right perhaps, or to the left? Be honest with yourself… is it straight or is it bent?

Not all men have ultra-straight penises. Some of us have bent peckers and we don’t know why. Maybe we got used to thinking “this is how all penises in the world look like”, because we’ve only really looked at our own. Penis shape and the direction it points to during sex is not exactly a locker room topic eh? But the fact is, some penises are more bent than others and some are just slightly bent.

Will a bent penis affect your performance? Absolutely. Turn the pages of your female orgasm sex manual and look at the positions I described there. There’s a chance that someone who doesn’t have a straight penis will not be able to execute some of those positions effortlessly for anatomical reasons.

The medical community has a collective term for this, Peyronies or penile tissue scarring. It’s a condition that affects some men, resulting in bending of the male organ. You cannot really pinpoint how you got that condition, because even the experts will tell you different things. One main theory is that this disorder comes about when men play rough all the time, leading to tissue breakage inside.

Navigating with a bent penis can be pretty tough, but there are several ways to do it.

1. For instance, your penis is bent like a banana, and it curves upward when it’s erect. You can modify your strokes during intercourse so that you can stimulate her g spot more. Think of your finger doing the come-hither movement and you’ll know what I mean. Suggested position, modified missionary.

2. If you’re penis bends downward when erect, you can stimulate her more through the doggy position.

Just be mindful of her over-all anatomy, and the approximate location of her g spot, and work with that knowledge.

NYTimes reports the findings of a psychology professor who found a way to measure women and men turn ons by conducting an experiment.

No matter what their self-proclaimed sexual orientation, they showed, on the whole, strong and swift genital arousal when the screen offered men with men, women with women and women with men…. read more

A couple of times I’ve been asked about men and lesbian sex, and this is how I have always answered:

Lesbian sex to men means two women getting it on, no more, no less. We don’t think about gender issues and whatever else that comes to mind when some people talk about lesbians… we only care about the numbers. Instead of ONE hot woman showing us her stuff, pleasuring herself and making us hot… there are TWO.

Now, this study on the NYTimes is interesting to men because it informs us how women also get turned on with the things that turn men on. It’s just the social programming that keeps them from exploring their kinky fetishes and fantasies, but we know it’s there. So, the next time you think about your kinky threesome fantasy (2 women + you), remember that she might also be willing to try it if you phrase it in a way that won’t make her feel defensive.

How to Ask Your Girlfriend to Join a Threesome

1. Reassure her that it’s for fun, experimentation and not personal

2.Tell her that the girls know the deal: you’re loyal to her and they can’t have “extra helpings” after that one night.

3. Ask about her restrictions. Is it ok if you do the other girls? Is foreplay (eating out, fondling) ok? How about penetration? – Discuss each “rule” she may have and work with it. The planning is as crucial as the logistics.

4. Logistics: Where will you do it? – It’s probably best to do it somewhere else instead your apartment (or anywhere familiar) to maintain the “fantasy” feel of your threesome.

5. If you’re really brave and you want it bad, you can promise to return the favor. That is, the next adventure will be a threesome with another guy.

Good luck, man!

Now that the ice has almost thawed, I’m sure each college dude out there is thinking of the same thing… Spring Break, and all the sex opportunities it presents.

This post won’t tell you how to pick up women when you go on your spring break, or how to get them to bed. Why? Because if you’re on this blog, I can tell you’ve been successful with your hook up game and now you want to refine that skill some more by… working on making your new girl swoon, scream and scratch your back while she climaxes over and over in bed with you.

Now that’s clear let’s move on to our lesson for the day: fruits, flowers and how the females of our species love to go to bed with these things.

Let’s say you’re with a woman on a tropical island and there’s nothing much to do but bathe in the water, soak in the sunlight and make love before dinner (and after the bar scene at night). It’s hot, it’s balmy and she would love to bring with her some water or fruit juice to your hotel room (or her quaint villa by the beach).

How to Prepare

• Order a bundle of sliced pineapples, strawberries, kiwi fruits or watermelons
• Bring in a bucket of ice cubes where you will store the bowl of fruits
• Buy or pick some flowers
• Arrange the flower petals on the bed and put the bowl of fruit and ice bucket on the side table (within your reach).

Foreplay

1. Engage in some serious kissing while you lead her to the petal-strewn bed and ask her to lie down.

2. Continue kissing her, then gradually position her near the bed’s head board so she’s half-leaning on the headboard and half lying down.

3. Get a piece of fruit and feed it to her slowly

4. take note of the juices that drip on her body and follow them down

5. lick her shoulders, neck, and breasts clean while she continues to eat the fruit. Alternatively, if the weather is too humid, she can eat the ice cubes instead of the fruit slices.

6. Go down on her and let her enjoy the sensation of being licked on her clit for a few minutes

7. While you’re still down there pleasuring her with your tongue, grab a fistful of flower petals from the bed and spread them on her torso and breast area.

8. using your fingers, rub some of the petals on her skin slowly, so that she feels the velvety sensation of each while you’re going down on her.

9. Continue eating her out and be prepared for a squirting climax.

This is just another technique for varying the sensations during sex and for making her feel that her climax was not only explosive, but also unbelievably sensual. Plus, you get points for being original and sensitive.

Note: check with her for allergies or pollen hypersensitivity before you even buy the flowers.

All men make mistakes in bed. Although we want to be able to go back in time to correct those mistakes, we can’t. So the next best thing is to learn from those mistakes. Here are some of the things that men have learned from their “first time”

1. Women don’t climax on cue – You know that moment when you’re riding her, thinking you’re doing extremely well and getting closer and closer to orgasm? You know you’re going to cum any time, and you expect her to cum with you. You confidently tell her “cum for me baby” but she doesn’t (and you do!). Sometimes, the idea of her man having climax excites her enough, but sometimes it doesn’t. I have learned to avoid the embarrassing “wait not yet” replies by making sure that she’s ready to climax before I dish out the “cum for me” line.

2. Some women won’t go down on you A.S.A.P. – Most of us have been viewing porn for as long as we can remember, and like you, I have always thought ALL women love giving blow jobs. Nope. I have learned that women are more willing to go down on men when they feel sexy or totally aroused. How you excite her during foreplay or intercourse will determine her willingness. Some women are more willing to give blow jobs if they’ve been eaten out first. So what does this tell us? We have to give to be able to receive, and if you don’t feel like giving head every time you have sex, maybe it’s not your place to ask her to go down on you whenever you want.

3. Don’t ask “was it good for you too?” if you’re sure you didn’t do great – While it’s impossible to judge your partner’s exact sexual response intensity (fact: some women have higher sexual response than men), it’s pretty easy to judge if you did your part in making her feel good during sex. There are times when you don’t even have to wonder if she’s having fun or not, she will voluntarily tell you in so many ways. My point is, if you jumped right in, had your fun and left her pouting, don’t ask the question. That is, don’t ask if you don’t want her to lie.

4. What comes after 10? – I, like many guys, went by the principle of “counting to 10 when you’re about to cum”. But what if you have done that over and over, and you still feel like letting loose? Here are some techniques that worked

• count to ten while breathing slowly and deeply
• thrust slower
• be willing to start over (i.e. she told you she was about to climax when you suddenly slowed down.)

This article on NYTimes.com reports several incidences of “postcoital blues”. That is, being extremely depressed and sad for a long time after sex.

“There is nothing strange about a little sadness after sexual pleasure. As the saying goes, after sex all animals are sad. But these patients experienced intense dysphoria that lasted too long and was too disruptive to be dismissed as mere unhappiness.”

The experts are puzzled, and so am I. I wouldn’t be surprised if the men and women who experienced postcoital blues did not climax or did not enjoy the sex, but they did (the article says the sad feelings were felt after orgasm). I’m sure there are many scientific theories that could explain this, but now one thing is clear: “mind boggling orgasms” could sometimes backfire.

This reminds me of an incident involving a girl, sex and a few buckets of tears afterward (hers). I remember asking “is that a good cry?” and her reply was “I don’t know”. Of course, at that time, I was assuming it was a good cry and she’s just overwhelmed with pleasure, but after reading about postcoital depression, I don’t know anymore.

This bit of news makes dealing with post-sex reactions trickier. But, I’m confident that there’s nothing a good hug (or another round) can’t cure.

This is a tribute to one dude in my group who lost his erection after hours of intense make-out session when the woman confessed that she is still a virgin. It may seem like a weird thing to some people, but there really are men out there who fear the V-card (virginity), or at least feel some amount of pressure when his date tells him to “pop her cherry”.

First of all, let’s analyze why she chose you to be the first:

• She’s comfortable with you; trusts you, even.
• She knows you won’t judge her or make fun of her status.
• She knows you will treat her right, will be gentle with her and initiate her tenderly to the art.
• She understands that you may be the one guy who can teach her all she needs to be a sex goddess.
• She knows the first time will be a bit painful,but also that the pleasure you can give will outweigh the pain.
• She wants her first time to be the best; and this means orgasms.

Pressured yet? You shouldn’t be, really. A girl’s first time could be a big deal to her, whether she admits it or not. However, what you must realize is that her first will be her sexual benchmark, and all her next sexual relationships (if you don’t hit it off for the long term) will be compared to how you made her feel during her first time.

She might have heard her friends talk about their first time and how it sucked for them. Like the time when her friend tried to justify why she thought her first time was the best even when she did not really enjoy the sex:

No way. My first time was not lousy at all. Maybe it was not the best, it was a more than a bit painful and my boyfriend did not know the first thing about making me orgasm, but that didn’t matter AT ALL because It was with the right guy, who was loving, caring and very affectionate to me. That more than makes up for the lack of gratification; I still consider myself lucky.

Your girl doesn’t buy that. She knows she deserves a good time on her first sex, and that’s why she chose you. Now, she’s right here in front of you, twiddling her thumb, and asking you very nicely to pop her cherry. What EXACTLY do you do?

Help her relax. Start slow by taking her clothes off piece by piece. This way, you build anticipation without scaring her. Help her relax by kneading her breasts (note that I said ‘kneading’ not ‘grabbing’)

Lose the hardcore porn (for now, at least) – She may feel more than a bit pressured when she sees the goddesses of the porn world humping and grunting and getting ass-fucked (and she knows she’s not ready for that yet).

Crank up the romance – Through the haze of her pleasure, she wants to feel special. Express your approval of the things she does gently but explicitly. Don’t just moan and groan; tell her she’s doing a good job licking or sucking you. Better yet, walk her through the process of giving you a blowjob, and tell her she looks awesome while she’s going down on you.

Hold your orgasm, but make her cum all she wants – It’s all about her for now. Hold off until she’s sated and smiling.