Pleasure through sex is the most intimate thing that a man and a woman can share together. Sex as we know it is filled with excitement and satisfaction, but there are instances when sex isn’t as gratifying as we would like it to be. What exactly happens when sex does not turn out to be the amazing experience that we expect? Chances are, something went wrong in the different phases of the sexual process.

Like a road trip, achieving orgasm through intercourse requires a map. This will explain to you how one phase leads to another, and how disturbance in one phase may lead to failure to orgasm.

Phase One: Desire to Have Sex

Sex starts when the man and the woman start thinking of sex. Perhaps you have started kissing during your date, or have been exchanging sexual innuendos over the phone for a time now.

Sexual tension is present and has built to a point when it must be released. You may have avoided the sexual tension in the past, but now the opportunity to have sex and relieve that tension is available and you take it.

What goes wrong during this phase that causes failure to orgasm?

1. Orgasm failure happens when only one partner has sufficient desire to keep the sex going. Maybe your partner simply wants to sleep after a hard day at work, and won’t want to “waste” time making love.
2. Past failures to orgasm – A person who has always achieved orgasm through sex won’t see intercourse as a chore. Sex will be the reward that she gives herself after enduring a day full of mundane chores. The opposite happens when sex has always been “ordinary” to her; which means that she has always viewed sex as something that she has to do to give her partner pleasure, and not something that can give her an orgasm.

   The desire to have sex must be present and she must be eager to spend time under the sheets with you for sex to happen.

Phase Two: Excitement

In one word: foreplay! Women get excited with fondling and licking. Like men, they have hot buttons that must be pushed to get stimulated further. Knowing exactly how to fondle and kiss her pleasure centers will make her look forward to this phase of the sexual process. The amount of mental and physical stimulation you give her during this phase will determine the intensity of orgasm.

What goes wrong during this phase that leads to orgasm failure in the woman?

1. A man may get too cocky (or too excited) and go for his own pleasure without thinking of his partner’s. Some men get too motivated by their own orgasm to even consider the women’s. There are some men who simply manipulate the whole process of foreplay so that he can be gratified.
2. His technique sucks – Fingering or cunnilingus may be performed by anyone, but did you know that there are proper ways to do these? Maybe you have tried fingering a girl and she ended up dry and discontented (or even sore) after a while without even achieving climax? Eating a girl out also requires some special techniques that guarantee fast orgasm and more pleasure for her.