Foreplay & Sexual Response

What we've learned so far is that men are physically able and ready to have sexual intercourse almost as soon as they are aroused. An erect penis is all it really takes on their end because all of the other physical changes will continue to follow regardless of what happens next. In fact, most men are eager and willing to start engaging in sexual activity by the end of their first stage and the start of their second.

Women, as we've seen, do not work that way most of the time.

Although they are easy to excite, they don't automatically jump to the second stage nor are they ready for intercourse until near the very end of their second stage.

When we combine those facts what we see is that most couples engage in sex before the woman is physically ready and this makes it nearly impossible for her to reach orgasm, particularly through vaginal intercourse.

Women need to build up to that point, which is why foreplay is so important.

Before we talk about different types of foreplay, I want to point out another fact often overlooked by men. That point is that foreplay not only makes sex better for women but it also improves the male orgasm. Let me explain why. The longer men hold off from sex the more sexual tension builds in their body. The more tension that's released during orgasm, the stronger the orgasm is going to be. It's like pulling a rubber band. The tighter and more tense the rubber band is pulled, the further its going to fly when its finally released. That means foreplay won't just help your partner reach orgasm; it will also help you have better and stronger orgasms.

Foreplay Guidelines

We can't talk about foreplay without first setting down some guidelines. Most men and women do not understand these guidelines and are, as a result, not as good at foreplay as they could be. These are important to learn now because when you and your partner in the heat of the moment you won't have time to check back.

• Foreplay does not involve genital touching – Some couples I've worked with had the believe that if the woman was giving theman a hand-job or if the man was playing with her clitoris then this was foreplay because there was no penetration. The answer is no. Good foreplay does not involve genital touching. Keep your hands away from the vagina until you know that she is well into the second stage. Also, if she tries to touch your penis, you should pull her hand away. By holding back, you'll be increasing sexual tension in both of you.

• Foreplay is not the same as oral sex – Another problem I've seen with couples is that they falsely believe that oral sex is a type of foreplay. While it's true that some people would agree with that idea, the truth is that oral sex is just another variation of vaginal intercourse. Also, refer back to the first guidelines and keep your hands – and your tongue – off of each other's genitals.

• Foreplay should be slow – Foreplay is not meant to be a quick hurdle men have to jump in order to get to intercourse. Instead, it is supposed to be a slow, gradual increase in sexual arousal and tension. When it's done well, women become so aroused that they will actually beg for penetration. Imagine how that would make you feel as a lover!

• Foreplay can begin anywhere – Another misconception about foreplay is that it must begin in the location where sex is going to happen. For example, if you are going to have sex in the bedroom then foreplay starts when you get into the bedroom. That's not true. Foreplay can begin anywhere. In fact, location can increase the effectiveness of foreplay considerably. We'll discuss that more a little later in this article.

Foreplay Techniques

Below are some examples of foreplay techniques you can use to get your partner in the right mood before sexual intercourse. These techniques can be used together, but remember to start slowly and build on the passion.

If you move too quickly, you won't achieve the desired effect.

• Dirty talking – Never underestimate the power of words to turn on your partner. Imagine looking into your partner's eyes over dinner at a nice restaurant and whispering, “You look so sexy tonight I can barely keep my hands off of you.” You can even follow it up with a description of what you'd like to do to her.

For example, you might say, “When we get home, I'm going to slowly undress you, lay you down on the bed, and give you the best full body massage you've ever had.” This kind of comments will make your partner feel desirable and that will increase her arousal, plus she'll be able to start fantasizing about how your hands are going to feel caressing her body and that's definitely going to build her anticipation for more. Just remember that you need to follow through with whatever you say. If you promise her an amazing massage, then you need to deliver.

Women are not turned on by promise breakers.

• Gentle touching – I've met with women who complain that men don't know how to touch them. By this they usually mean that men don't know how to be gentle. For example, they grope their breasts instead of stroking them. A gentle touch even in the most non-sexual place can have incredible results. There's a scene in a movie that illustrates this point. The movie, Don Juan DeMarco, starred Johnny Depp as a man who believed he was a world class lover who only thought about pleasing the women he was with. In an early scene, he meets a strange woman in a restaurant and sets her on fire simply by stroking part of her hand. While some may argue Johnny Depp could have that effect on a woman without touching her, there is truth to the message the character is conveying. Softly stroking your partner's shoulders or gliding your hands lightly over her back can send shivery tingles through her body the way other types of touches won't, especially early on in the arousal process.

• Kissing – Kissing is an incredible type of foreplay but it is often misused because partners don't communicate what they like and what they don't like. There are many, many different ways of kissing romantically and each way is appropriate at different stages of the process. For example, if your partner is merely aroused, you wouldn't want to begin using a lot of tongue while you're kissing. Most women seem to dislike a lot of tongue use anyway which surprises most men. Gentle kissing is best at first, including brushing your lips over her fingers, her palm, her earlobes, her inner thighs, even her toes. Remember kissing does not always have to involve her lips. There's a lot more of her body to touch and taste. As her level of arousal increases, your kissing can become more passionate. If you do use your tongue, only use the tip to touch her tongue or her lips gently.

Unless you know for a fact that it turns your partner on, don't thrust your entire tongue into her mouth. Most women find this to be a turn off.

About the Author:

Gabrielle Moore is author of the best-selling book The G Spot Code, a manual that helps men please their female partners with an intense G Spot orgasm every time. Download your FREE Report from: http://www.femaleorgasmsrevealed.com

Tags: how to make a girl climax, how to make a woman orgasm, girl orgasm, g-spot, how to give yourself an orgasm, tips for sex, make love

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It’s a fact that men and women are different and that extends to achieving sexual pleasure as well. Take for instance the topic of orgasms; men reach their climax sooner than women. Period.

Unfortunately, since the reasons WHY a woman does not reach an orgasm as fast as a man are not explored, what happens is that the sexual relationship generally develops into one where reaching her orgasm is not even an objective!

Society has a lot to do with this. It seems that women, in general, have been raised with the mentality that when it comes to sex, his orgasm is the goal. As for her, it’s ok; it’s natural that she doesn’t reach an orgasm. And while couples easily accept this, what most people don’t realize is that a woman not reaching her orgasm is actually the root of MANY relationship problems.

Relationship Problems Caused by Your Partner Not Reaching an Orgasm

Sexual Frustration. Imagine if you have sex with your partner and you’re never given the chance to reach your climax. That’s a dreadful thought, isn’t it? You probably wouldn’t even call it ‘having sex’ at all. Think of all that frustration inside you that just grows after each time you have sex. Well, it’s the same for women!

Even though it would take longer for women to reach the point of ‘sexual frustration’, they will reach it one way or the other. And this frustration will manifest itself in many different areas in your relationship.

Resentment. You can’t blame women for wanting what they see as an obviously great and pleasurable experience for you. If you don’t take the time to learn how to bring her to an orgasm, then she will soon begin to resent your ‘selfishness’ in bed. After all, why should you have all the fun? You may find great techniques here…

Again, this resentment may start small but sooner or later, it will grow and reveal itself in other areas of your relationship. For instance, she may become short-tempered with you, and you will see this as simply her being annoying or a nag. Do you see how this can easily become a big problem in your relationship?

Decrease in Sexual Intimacy. For many women, instead of discussing the topic of female orgasm with their partners, they deal with their sexual frustration by turning to other things such as using sex toys or engaging in self-pleasure or masturbation. While using pleasure toys and pleasuring one’s self is not bad at all, using it as a permanent substitute to reach an orgasm is!

Pretty soon, the act of making love itself will look less and less thrilling for her. After all, she knows she can get greater pleasure from her sex toys and through masturbation than by making love with you. As a result, she will be less and less inclined to engage in sex.

And now the tables have turned. As she loses interest in sex, now YOU are the one who’s going to start to feel sexually frustrated. Find new ways to recover sexual creativity here…

Relationship Withdrawal. When physical intimacy decreases, overall relationship closeness begins to decline as well. You see, if you don’t make love, you also don’t reach that magical moment called ‘afterglow’, when a couple truly bonds after having sex.

Think about it this way: each day that you don’t make love, is a day that brings the two of your further and further apart.

Infidelity. If a woman gets to experience sexual pleasure only through sex toys and by the use of her own hand, and if this makes her lose interest in the sexual act itself with you, then imagine how ‘easy’ it can be for her to fall for another man!

If a woman meets a person who can bring her tremendous physical pleasure that no one has ever given her before, isn’t it logical that she would fall head over heels over this person? After all, in her eyes, it’s this person who truly cares about her. Otherwise, why would he go to such great lengths to pleasure her?

Female orgasms are not often talked about but in reality, a lot of relationships suffer the consequences of women not reaching their climax. So if you want a great relationship, one that’s also characterized by great sex, then the best thing you can do is to ENSURE you know how to make her reach her climax. To learn more, click here…

Good luck!

Tags: free sex tips, vaginal orgasm, better sex tips, make love, squirting orgasm, how to orgasm, how to make love

Discussing Orgasms With Your Partner

We've talked about a lot of things in this book which should help you understand female orgasm better and should help you make it easier for your partner to achieve that goal as well. However, before you can really begin putting all of this information to use, you'll probably need to discuss orgasms with your partner.

When it comes to issues of sex and intimacy, women are often as close-mouthed as men. They may not want to admit that they've been faking orgasms because they don't want to hurt your feelings. They may not feel comfortable talking about sex acts or their fantasies. They may not want to admit that they have masturbated. There are all types of issues your partner may be reluctant to discuss.

However, if you are going to have a mature, mutually satisfying sex
life, these topics must be discussed. Communication, after all, is the best
technique for finding out what your partner wants.
In this chapter, we'll look at some of the topics you'll need to discuss
and how you can more easily approach the subject with her.

Masturbation

Several times in the book I've talked about how important female masturbation is because it helps women learn what feels good to their bodies. When women can experiment in privacy and can learn their bodies better, they become more responsive lovers who can guide you in your quest to bringing them greater sexual satisfaction. The problem is that a large percentage of women who have masturbated are ashamed or embarrassed to admit it.

While society pretty much accepts male masturbation, it still views
female masturbation as somewhat taboo. Plus, women today were probably
raised in households where such things were simply not discussed. Many
adult women are shocked when they finally discover that their mothers were also masturbating all that time.

Anyway, the reason I'm telling you all of this is because you may face difficulty when it comes to talking about masturbating with your partner. Now, of course, some women have no problems broaching the subject. Others, however, are more timid. You'll sort of have to feel your way through the conversation. To help you, I've developed an example conversation below which is similar to many of the conversations I've helped my clients plan when they wanted to discuss this sensitive matter with the women in their lives. It should give you some idea of how to begin the conversation and how to steer it in the right direction.

Also, keep in mind that while not all sex conversations should take place in the bedroom, this one may be a good one to have on the bed while both of you are feeling a little amorous. That way it will make what comes next a little easier.

You: “Can I ask you something, baby?”
Her: “What?”
You: “Do you ever get yourself off?”
Her: “What do you mean?”
You: “You know, do you ever masturbate?”
Her: “I'm not going to tell you that.”
You (keeping the conversation light and playful): “Come on, why
not?”
Her: “It's private.”
You: “I masturbate. Sometimes when I see how hot you look I get so turned on that I can't help myself. Don't you ever feel that way?”
Her: “I'm not going to tell you
You: “I think it would be really hot to watch you get yourself off.”
Her: “Really?”
You: “Absolutely! But since you don't do that . . . “
Her: “Maybe I've done it a couple of times.”
You: “Does it feel good?”
Her: “Not as good as being with you.”
You: “Maybe you could show me how good it feels.”
Her: “You want me to masturbate in front of you?”
You: “I think it would be really sexy.”

At this point, your partner may or may not agree. If she does agree, sit back and watch quietly. Don't try to get involved or to offer words of encouragement. Pay attention to how she pleases herself. For example, does she use a toy or her hand? This can be very useful information for you because if you want to provide added stimulation during intercourse then you can use whichever method she normally prefers.
Of course, there's a good chance that your partner may not be eager to pleasure herself in front of you. If that's the case, you can always offer a compromise. Instead of you watching from inside the bedroom, ask her if you can tape her masturbating. You'd be somewhere else in the house or gone completely, but the videotape or DVD would record her masturbating in private. You'd be able to see her in action without her feeling as if she's invading your privacy.

If she doesn't go along with that idea, then you may need to drop the
subject for a little while. That doesn't mean you can't go ahead and start
experimenting with methods of clitoral stimulation.
You may also have a partner who has honestly never masturbated. In
that case, she may not be able to give you much feedback about what feels
good to her because she probably won't know. That's not a bad thing; it just
means you'll be doing a lot of trial and error. It also means that you're going
to need good communication so when you do hit upon something that sends
pleasure racing through her body she lets you know.

Fantasies

Fantasies are one of the best tools in the pleasure arsenal. If you act out or talk about your partner's fantasy during intercourse, you're likely to amp up her arousal dramatically. Her fantasies can also give you ideas about which techniques and positions she may be most open to trying.

Remember that some fantasies are not meant to be acted out. A client of mine from a few years back had a partner who fantasized about watching him receive oral sex from another woman. This was not a fantasy she wanted to really see, however. Instead, it represented how turned on she became by watching people having sex. Fantasies involving violence or bondage may represent a partner's desire to take a more dominant or submissive role during sex but may not mean your partner literally wants to be hit or tied up.

Tags: sexual climax, gspot orgasm, tips anal sex, sex, female orgasm technique, how to reach a climax, sexual intercourse technique

Below is a sample conversation involving this topic. Remember this conversation should NOT take place in the bedroom.

You: “Baby, I want to talk to you about something.”
Her: “What?”
You: “Well, before I ask you I just want you to know that I want you to be honest. You don't have to lie or hide anything from me ever, ok?”
Her: “Ok. Ask me.”
You: “Have you ever faked an orgasm with me?”
Her: “Of course not! Don't be silly!”
You: “I'm serious. I know most women have faked orgasms at some time or another, so I won't be shocked if you have. I just want to know so I can start changing some things I do in order to be a better lover to you.”
Her: “I may have faked it a couple of times, but you already are a good lover. It's probably just me.”
You: “Sweetheart, I don't think it's you. That's why the next time we're together I'm going to try some different things . . . things I think may help you stop having to fake it.”

At this point, she will probably be surprised at your reaction to her confession and impressed that you care so much about her pleasure in the bedroom. If, however, she continues to insist that she does not fake orgasms with you, then tell her that you're going to try some new techniques that will make it even easier for her to reach an orgasm with you. This way she won't be surprised when you begin experimenting, and she won't have to make a confession.

What She Likes

Probably the most important conversation you're going to have, however, when it comes to orgasms is asking her what she likes. This conversation usually can't happen anywhere else but in the bedroom, and it's not really the kind of conversation I can provide you an example of. What I can tell you is how I recommend for my clients to pursue this subject. After you've discussed with your partner your desire to be an even better lover, you should then explain that to do that you need to experiment a little and find out what she likes. If she's willing (and most partners probably will be), the next step is to set the mood. Use the foreplay techniques we discussed earlier in the book to help her become aroused, then have her stretch out on a comfortable surface, preferably a bed. She should, of course, be completely naked. The next step is for you to explore her body. Move your hands slowly over every inch of her skin. Try different strokes, different movements on each part and take note of the ones which bring about the most impressive results.

When you've explored her exterior, you're ready to some similar exploring inside her. Try rubbing her clitoris in a variety of patterns. If you have some toys, give them a try as well. The idea is to experiment as much as you can to see what makes her feel the best. Encourage your partner to let you know what feels good because that's the only way you'll be able to get better. After all of your experimenting, both of you will probably be pretty worked up so take the chance to try out one of the of the positions from the book and see what happens.

What You Need to Remember

When it comes to female orgasms, you and your partner are going to have to open the lines of communication. Even though lots of people have trouble talking about sex in and out of the bedroom, these conversations will provide you with a solid foundation on which to build. Here are a few of the important points I want you to keep in mind about this chapter.

1. Some sex conversations should be held in the bedroom while you're both relaxed and aroused. This can make you both less inhibited and more likely to honestly share your secrets. It also makes it easier for the two of you to take things to the next level if those secrets turn you on.

2. Not all women are comfortable talking about sex. As we've said, women vary in how comfortable they are with this subject. If your woman is a little more reserved, don't push her. Find ways of building trust with her and she will eventually open up to you.

3. The faked orgasm conversation is one that both of you need to have. By talking about this sensitive subject, you'll show that you really are the kind of lover your partner wants and needs.

4. Never be judgmental. One important thing to remember when you are sharing sexual secrets is that you cannot be judgmental of her. If you tell her what she's doing is wrong or bad, then she's going to feel worse about her own sexuality, close her mind to experimentation, and feel betrayed by you. All of this is going to hinder her ability to reach orgasm with you or her future partners. If you can't keep your negative opinions to yourself, then you probably shouldn't be asking her these questions in the first place.

Conclusion

We'll we've reached the end of our voyage through the ins and outs of female orgasms. As I've stressed throughout the book, no matter what kind of lover you think you are now, your interest in pleasing your partner in bed puts you above many of the men in the world who view their partner's enjoyment as secondary to their own. My hope is that this book provides you with some ideas, techniques, and positions which you can use with your partner to enhance not only her pleasure but also your own. After all, sex should not be a one-way street. Even though it's wonderful to want your partner to have a good time, you can't become so focused that you lose sight of your own.
Remember that above everything else, sex is about having fun and building closeness between two people. If you keep those things in mind at all times, then your sex lives are going to continue to improve and you'll become the greatest lovers you can be.

Tags: give a girl an orgasm, dr drew, girl climax, how to give yourself an orgasm, female orgasms, how to reach a climax, where is the g spot

A lot of flack fall on men on why women don’t experience an orgasm but truth be told, women have a lot to do about this as well whether they realize it or not.

6 Reasons Why Women DON’T Climax

There are many reasons why women don’t reach sexual climax. Some of them maybe men’s faults but a lot can be because of her too…

Foreplay? What foreplay?

Foreplay is extremely important. For women, making love begins in the mind and if you don’t ‘condition’ her mind for sex, then chances are she won’t be sexually reciprocating in bed too. Furthermore, women really do need more time than men to reach an orgasm; so foreplay is actually your way of extending your own sexual stamina.

She’s thinking too much!

Women are natural multi-taskers. Unfortunately, they’re so used to thinking and doing several things at the same time that they find it hard to simply be ‘in the moment’ during sex. If most men can be very ‘in the zone’ during sex, women seem to have various thoughts running through their heads all the time (e.g., home chores that need to be done, kids’ homework, dirty laundry, etc.).

She’s full of… insecurities.

Women have many body image issues. While you may adore her, her mind is probably worried about at least three different things as you undress her: Is the light revealing any cellulite? Are my ‘love handles’ protruding? Does he think my breasts are too small/big?

If body image anxiety is not in her head, then she may be thinking about things such as “I didn’t shower yet, I hope I smell good… especially down there.”, or “I didn’t pee. I hope I don’t embarrass myself.”

ALL these thoughts are making her focus on the wrong things! It’s taking attention away from sexual pleasure and into sexual insecurities. And when a woman is in this mode, it’s almost impossible to her focus on reaching her own climax!

She really doesn’t know her own body.

There is a certain art form to making love to a woman’s body. It really does have a lot of mysterious curves, spots and turns. Sadly, many women don’t indulge in a lot of ‘self exploration’ when it comes to sex. As such, it’s hard to guide you on what makes her feel good or which techniques really turn her on. And really, if she doesn’t know her own body, how can you be expected to instinctively know what brings her pleasure, right?

The best thing is… it’s never too late to learn! Why don’t you BOTH explore her body? Don’t rush anything and try everything. See what turns her on best and use that knowledge to make her reach her orgasm. Make it your sexual quest! However, here are some clues to save you a few steps…

YOU’re not paying attention!

True, men are not mind-readers. Unfortunately, many women are not great communicators in bed as well so we have a little problem here. Compounding this problem is of course that favorite female bedroom habit of ‘faking orgasms’. As a result, YOU think that what you’re doing is great when in reality you may not even be close!

To solve this particular problem, try to develop a certain ‘sexual code’ between you two. For instance, a slight squeeze on your arm means “You’re doing great! Pls. keep doing it!”; while nails on your skin or arm mean “enough of that!”. You will receive more squeezes, however, if you know some important facts. Click here to learn more…

YOU’re changing ‘techniques’ too fast.

Men like to try different sexual positions and that’s great but sometimes you may be changing just a bit too fast. Women need to get accustomed to a certain ‘rhythm’ before sexual pleasure begins to climb. If you keep shifting positions, she will either (a) never find the position that brings her an orgasm, (b) lose the sexual pleasure she was experiencing in the previous position or (c) be so frustrated that even if you go back to the same position, she may not be that sexually aroused again.

So keep this in mind: when it comes to female orgasm it’s not just location, location, location… it’s also about repetition, repetition, repetition.

Hopefully this list of potential reasons why your partner is not reaching an orgasm paves the way for discussion between the two of you. Don’t focus on why she’s not reaching an orgasm. Instead, focus on what you guys are going to do, so that she does reach her climax. That’s a more positive approach and lot more fun too! Learn creative and easy ways to do it here…

Tags: gspot location, dr ruth, great sex, woman orgasm, make love, anal sex technique, how to give a woman an orgasm

“What Are The Best Lovemaking Techniques on How to Give a Woman Orgasm?”

To answer this infamous question, we run to them who hold the proverbial key, to them who know best above all the doctors and sex gurus in the market – women. They may not hold PhD’s nor do they have best-selling love making books but they have first hand information and experience. So sit back, relax and slap on your reading glasses as the ladies show us how to give a woman orgasm by recounting their very own stories.

Lovemaking Technique #1: Amplify Arousal with Anticipation: Pre-Sex Text

I get mind blowing orgasms every time my boyfriend sends me an IM before we actually do it. Sometimes he would message me this graphic naughty thing that he will do to me – like the one we saw in a movie once, or he will just send a simple message saying “Get ready to scream tonight.” It makes me crazy as I wait hour after hour until we finally meet and do the deed. Once we meet up, bam! All hell breaks loose and I crumble.

Lovemaking Technique #2: Finger Tracing

My husband knows how to give a woman orgasm. He traces his fingers around my breasts, then just when he is about to touch the nipples, he moves south and tickles my inner thighs, moving ever so close to my cookie but never actually touching it. Then, he does both things, he traces the lips of my vagina with one hand and the sides of my boobs with another. Whenever my husband does this I have the longest orgasm after.

Lovemaking Technique #3: Tongue Play

Two words. Tongue play. My man’s tongue is my clitoris’ best friend. I get those fantastic shakes every time my man does these weird acrobatics with my clit. He would start by sort of pulling the top of my mound ever so slightly upwards then he’d lick slow, then fast, then agonizingly slow again, then butterfly kisses, then he’d French it, then he’ll end by alternating humming soft flicks. I have to muffle my screams with a pillow because I come so hard every single time.

Lovemaking Technique #4: Psychic Sex

I get orgasms depending on my mood. Good thing that my boyfriend knows how to gauge me…it’s almost like he’s psychic! Sometimes I like rough, tumbling sex and when he delivers the most menacing sex, my insides tingle and I reach climax more than once

Lovemaking Technique #5: Pulling Penetration

When I ride my baby, every time I thrust towards him, he pulls me tighter. He does this several times then after a few seconds, I explode like a firecracker!

Lovemaking Technique #6: Clit/Come Here Combo

I get high with lust when a man puts two fingers in while he is licking my clit. However, I sky rocket to a frantic orgasm if he licks me and then with the two fingers inside me, he does a “come here” action. Instant mind blowing orgasm in a matter of seconds!

Lovemaking Technique #7: Missionary Leg Lift

You want to know how to give a woman orgasm? While having sex in the missionary position, suddenly lift your woman’s legs up. This would allow you to penetrate deeper than ever and would sent instant shivers. This definitely works wonders as I myself have tried it and you can thank me later after your sweetie is worshiping your sex prowess.

Lovemaking Technique #8: The Pre-Penetration Tease

I go crazy if a man teases me. If he teases the outer lips of my vagina with his shaft’s head, and then would ask me to beg him to enter. Once he enters me deep and hard after begging, the walls crumble.

Lovemaking Technique #9: Pussy Petting in the Doggy Position

A simple way on how to give a woman orgasm is by entering her from behind. Then, after you have set a rhythm, touch her down there (specifically, the clitoris). The combination of your manhood pounding her and your expert hands pleasuring her will be enough to send her over the edge, back and over again.

Lovemaking Technique #10: Do Something New!

Zest up the foreplay. Whenever my hubby and I do something new on the boudoir, I have the best multiple orgasms in the world! As if my orgasms will never end.

Tags: give a girl an orgasm, g spot, gspot stimulation, female multiple orgasms, woman climax, tips anal sex, clitoris stimulation technique

From: http://www.orgasmsurvey.co.uk/pressrelease.htm

To celebrate National Orgasm Day on 31 July 2008, Pelvic Toner and Scarlet magazine conducted the UK’s biggest and most comprehensive female orgasm survey ever, with over 2000 women sharing their most intimate secrets…

Key Findings

• Nearly half of all women are not getting their share of orgasms!

• The G-spot is not a myth – 75% of women claim to have one. And women who don’t think they have a G-spot rarely orgasm

• Women who claim to have a good pelvic floor have twice as many orgasms as those who don’t

• Women who undertake regular pelvic floor exercises using a resistance device reported a much improved sex life within 4 weeks

Survey results

• 72% of women say they are aware of their G-spot but its location varies significantly!

• 50% place the G-spot just inside their vagina while 35% say it’s deep inside. The remaining 15% locate it elsewhere!

• 46% never or rarely achieve vaginal orgasm during penetrative sex

• Only 31% claim to do so often or always

• 36% never or rarely achieve clitoral orgasm during penetrative sex, but 85% often or always achieve clitoral orgasm by self-stimulation

• 69% are aware that pelvic floor muscle tone is implicated in the ability to achieve orgasm, but 12% rate their pelvic floor as poor or very poor

• 70% of women claim to exercise their pelvic muscles sometimes or often, but 92% would like to be shown how to exercise properly

• Those women who rate their pelvic floor as good or very good, or who exercise regularly, are twice as likely to achieve vaginal orgasms as those that rate their pelvic floor as poor or very poor (42% versus 22%)

• There’s a similar pattern with clitoral orgasms but it’s slightly less marked

• Two thirds of women who rate their pelvic floor as poor or very poor never or rarely have vaginal orgasms

• 42% of women using the Pelvic Toner said they became more aware of their pelvic floor immediately, rising to 85% within 2 weeks

• 62% of women using the Pelvic Toner reported an improved sex life within 2 weeks rising to 82% after 4 weeks

• 62% said that their partner noticed the improvement in muscle tone and tightness

Comments from survey respondents

• “Until I bought a vibrator I had never had an orgasm of any kind. At the grand old age of 43 it came as quite a shock!”

• “I’ve recently discovered G-spot vaginal orgasms with my husband stimulating the area with his fingers and have been experimenting with the clitoral orgasm alongside G-spot vaginal stimulation. This exercise is enjoyable and also I believe keeps my muscles in shape.”

• “My pelvic floor muscles were excellent plus prior to childbirth. I’m aware of lack of strength. What I don’t understand is how 12 hours of labour can ruin muscle tone, which had been in excellent condition for the twenty years prior to childbirth. It seems disproportionate and unfair.”

• “Just to say that in my experience the frequency and quality of vaginal orgasms is very much linked to your partner! I consider myself very lucky now, and if I had been counting and rating orgasms more than five years ago it would have been a very different story!”

• “I’m having the best sex and more orgasms since I got past 40. I’m comfortable in my body, with my partner and my libido has gone through the roof!”

• “I can bring myself to vaginal orgasm by pelvic floor exercises.”

• “I’ve enjoyed sex for years with a variety of enthusiastic and skilled partners and never had an orgasm.”

• “I always achieve clitoral orgasm through stimulation by my husband. I do not believe that there is a ‘G-spot’.”

• “I’m lucky that I have multiple orgasms even at my age. This could be due to my taking HRT. My partner and I have a very good sexual relationship and we are both pensioners.”

• “To be honest I’m not really sure what the difference is between the two types of orgasm. I just know that I reach orgasm easily.”

• “Learn to belly dance! That’s the best way to tighten those PC muscles!”

Why an Orgasm Survey

There has never been a detailed survey asking women what type of orgasms they experience.

While many women experience, and can easily distinguish between, clitoral and vaginal (or G-spot) orgasms, there are still many women, commentators and doctors who deny the very existence of the G-spot and a distinct vaginal orgasm.

In 1966 Masters and Johnson used direct observation of 382 women and dispelled the existence of a distinct vaginal orgasm.

Studies over 50 years have estimated that between 50% and 90% of women have never experienced a vaginal orgasm.

Early in 2008 Prof Emmanuelle Jannini reported that women had to have detectable signs of a G-spot (using ultrasound) to be able to achieve a vaginal orgasm.

It has been known for nearly 60 years, but rarely publicised, that the condition of the pelvic floor muscle is a key indicator in the ability to achieve vaginal orgasm. Arnold Kegel, of the eponymous exercise routine, published a 3000 patient study in 1952 that highlighting this link and demonstrated that ‘sexually dysfunctional’ women taught a resistive exercise programme could achieve orgasm for the first time.

Demonstrating and publicising the link between a healthy and strong pelvic floor and better sex will improve the general health and sexual wellbeing of millions of women, restore millions of relationships, and reduce the incidence of stress incontinence which afflicts half of all women.

The PelvicToner™ is a progressive resistance vaginal exerciser designed to help women meet the fundamentals of Kegel exercise (ie to identify and isolate the vaginal (pubococcygeal) muscle and then to exercise it properly against a variable resistance with the appropriate bio-feedback).

“Dr Arnold Kegel reported a landmark study in 1952 linking sexual satisfaction for women and the muscle tone of their pelvic floor. In many ways, we have failed women ever since by not telling them how to do these exercises correctly. The secret – as identified by Kegel – is to improve muscle tone by exercising against resistance. People understand that to improve muscle it’s no good just lifting our arms in the air, no matter how many repetitions we do. We have to introduce some form of resistance to get good results, and it’s the same with pelvic floor exercise. Encouraging women to squeeze repeatedly when sat on the bus or to use devices that do not offer resistance, means many women are wasting their time and increasing their sense of frustration.” Dr Sarah Brewer, GP and sexual health expert

“It’s 60 years since Arnold Kegel proposed pelvic floor exercises as a treatment for stress incontinence but a simple, effective method of putting all his principles into practice has eluded us. The PelvicToner seems to meet all the requirements that Kegel envisaged - it is a simple, patient-friendly, progressive resistance exercise device and provides feedback to the patient that the correct muscles are being engaged.” Paul Abrams, Professor of Urology at the Bristol Urological Institute

Along with knowing what to do in the bedroom, strong & healthy pelvic floor muscles are key to reaching female orgasms.

If you want to check out the survey results to date, go here: http://www.orgasmsurvey.co.uk/report.htm

Tags: make woman orgasm, woman orgasm, how to make love, female orgasms, g spot, real female orgasm, female multiple orgasms

Tags: where is the g spot, tips for sex, dr drew, lovemaking, female gspot, sex, female ejaculation

Sex can be a taboo subject for some but many are not afraid to discuss this issue especially if they want to boast about their sexual exploits between the sheets. Men and woman alike share their juicy stories hoping that they will learn other techniques and tips to further develop their sexual expertise. Many do not know it, but if you want to consistently enjoy great sex, you should look at it from another angle. Here’s a little secret: Having mind blowing sex and improving your sexual prowess can be like playing Role Playing Video Games (RPGs) such as the legendary Final Fantasy series! Don't believe it? Here’s why I think you should.

I love the Final Fantasy series of video games, and it got me thinking, “Wow, this is a lot like sex!”. If you are familiar with Final Fantasy, you’d realize that all RPG games essentially begin with an introduction of the main protagonists and side characters. Before you progress with the game, you'll learn about their skills and personalities so that you know what’s in store for you as you pass through each level. Just like performing sex, you should first get to know your partner’s body parts and all their functions. Is the protagonist (her vagina) an aggressive warrior or a submissive mage? If you know this, and you really should, this can help you determine what you can do for her in order to please her as well as have her return the favor.

But you shouldn’t be ignoring the rest of the characters which are like her other body parts. RPG-wise, the lead character can never fulfill his mission if he is not aided by his loyal comrades. In Final Fantasy VII, Cloud Strife might never defeat Jenova if it wasn’t for Tifa, Aerith, Yuffie, Vincent, Barrett, Cait Sith and Red XIII’s help so it is highly important that you pay special attention to her lips, inner thighs, neck and even toes to arouse her. We all know their roles were important, so you shouldn’t be ignoring those other favorite areas.

Quests and hurdles are common in RPGs. Look at them in a positive manner. To improve your sexual expertise, put yourself in the hero’s shoes and see how you can tackle issues that were too difficult or sensitive to handle in real life. In RPGs, if you want to get your hands on the treasure at the other end of the rainbow, you had better make sure you collect all the tips and hints strewn across the landscapes in order to collect your bounty. When getting down and dirty with your woman, look for pointers and signs so that you can improve all aspects of your love making. Want her to squirt? I happen to know this thing called the Internet that is loaded with sex tips! And it doesn't hurt to ask your best mates about their experiences. Just like in RPGs where the protagonist has to search for the right way until he eventually obtains the actual path to the treasure, you can go home and experiment until your girl eventually experience female ejaculation alongside a mind blowing orgasm. What guy doesn’t love a girl that swallows? It drives me nuts, but let’s not get into my sex life too much… Why not look up for guides encouraging her to consume your protein shake. Persuade and gently cajole her with rewards and words of encouragement. I guarantee, in no time at all, she'll grow to love devouring your ejaculation and realize she'll be showered with your unconditional love and attention!

If you have played enough RPGs in your life (and I think I have), you’d realize the fact that ALL protagonists are flawed. Some are moody and appear to be extroverts (remember Squall Leonhart from Final Fantasy VIII?) while some simply do not realize that they have got limitless power to save the world. However, this does not mean that these heroes do not have special skills. No, sir. They each possess an exclusive skill set not available in other side characters. I’m not good at everything, but specialization is key. You can use it to your advantage! Imagine yourself as these less than perfect heroes who have special abilities so that you can perform better in bed. If you have a skill you are proud of, say, you are able to make a girl climax just by writing her name using your tongue on her nether regions, then focus on this skill but take time to develop other “talents”. Try to possess a positive mindset and tell yourself that there is ample room for improvements, enough for you to eventually “save the day”.

No respectable RPG hero can prove his mettle without his assortment of special weapons and items like potions. Similarly, you can buy different sexual aids to help you give your sex life a much needed boost. You’d be lying if you told me sex doesn’t get boring after a little while. Sometimes you know it is just time to upgrade your “weaponry.” Use some new sex weapons with 10+ to excitement when you initiate the next love making session. Why not present her with an adorable vibrator that she will love and encourage her to use it? Wrap it nicely and put it together with a bunny suit, a nurse’s uniform or even a pair of kitty ears. Oo! I know! Why not TEACH her how to use it? And will any luck, she will return the favor by bringing in her own “armory” of dildos, flavored lubricants, furry handcuffs, edible panties and feathery blindfolds. Sex will never be as fun without your sex toys that will ensure a kinky and highly enjoyable session. At the end of the day, you would have won over your damsel in G-string with your arsenal of sexual “weapons”!

In our RPG of a life, you have to persevere and put more efforts to “level up” in your sex life. However, your worst enemy is routine so do take the time to inject the excitement back into your love life. My girl loves it when I get freaky with her. Trying new sexual positions is fun, (but that’s not to say it hasn’t had its awkward moments. :o…) and don’t stick with one unless it’s a favorite one for both of you. Make love in places you have never had sex before like in the swimming pool, the Laundromat or in a museum stairwell (but don’t get caught. He-he).

Step up, son! Fight that boss monster and bring her down shaking, trembling on her hands and knees, begging for more of your mighty pole!

Tags: free sex tips, karma sutra positions, clitoris stimulation technique, how to make a woman orgasm, dr ruth, vaginal orgasm, fingering orgasm

By Phoenix Delray

A dildo is a sex toy that is typically phallic in shape and is intended for bodily penetration during masturbation or sex with a partner. There are many different types of dildos so it is important to know exactly what you are looking for before buying anything. Although dildos tend to be designed more for vaginal use, there is an increasingly large popularity for anal dildos now too. Shopping for an anal dildo requires you to pay much closer attention to the details than if you were looking for a dildo for vaginal penetration.

There are a few major things that an anal dildo must have in order to make it safe for anal penetration, whether it is during masturbation or sexual activities with a partner. You must be aware of these specifications because you cannot rely on the manufacturers. Even though these companies are designing dildos that they are marketing as an anal dildo, this does not mean that they are taking all of the personal safety guidelines into consideration. There is a huge difference between a company that is marketing a product as an anal dildo and one that has actually designed the dildo specifically for anal penetration. A lot of the time a sex toy company just markets a product as an anal as a gimmick, a way to make an extra dollar.

For a toy to be safe for anal penetration it must be seamless, with no sharp edges, rough pointy bits or any part that could come off easily. The rectum has a layer of tissue that can be torn very easily and can cause many health issues if that happens. An anal dildo must also be designed with a wide or flared base to it which will prevent it from traveling up the rectum. If it does not have a flared base then it should at least have a ring around the base or anything else that would keep it from sliding up into the rectum. Anal sex toys should not be taken lightly and it is very important for your personal health that you take the appropriate amount of time to learn about them. There are many different types of anal sex toys, but the most common is the anal dildo. When using anything to perform anal penetration, whether it is for masturbation or with your partner, it is important to approach it with caution.

About The Author

For more details on anal dildos and other sex toys, please visit our website.