The first mistake coincides with the male mentality that sex is a sprint to cross the orgasmic finish line. The faster you are able to get a partner to climax is not the most enjoyable way to have sex. The foreplay, on the other hand, can be an immeasurably exciting and fun experience. A partner can become so “hot” during extended foreplay that the resulting climax proves even better than when you race to the finish. You should think of sex as a marathon… not a sprint.

Try this: tease your partner by gently kissing, flicking your tongue on her skin. Kiss her all over for a long time… until she simply cannot take it anymore… until she screams in desire for you to come inside of her.

The second mistake has to do with always having sex at the same time, in the same place. How boring! No wonder your sex life is dull. It’s time to inject a sense of adventure into your life. Be creative and be spontaneous. Think of all the other places you can engage your partner in lovemaking. There’s the garage, your car, outside. Find your own nook. I suggest being discreet, however.

More of a Bore

The third mistake people make is unimaginative foreplay. More of a bore! I spoke recently with an online friend who touted the benefits of physical exercise as foreplay. Imagine that! A couple works out together, they work up a sweat. They shower together, they make love together. Wow! My friend tells me that a man’s sweat has something called androstadienone in it. This is some sort of testosterone derivative that is said to increase a woman’s sexual desire when she smells it. Who knew!

The fourth mistake lovers make is to begin the joy of lovemaking the same way all the time. Again, be creative and try something new. For instance, have you ever thought to tie your partner’s hands up and make them figure out how to take off your clothes? Interesting, huh? This activity will take your relationship to a higher level. You are friends, first and foremost. So live, love and laugh … a lot!

The fifth mistake that mostly men make is to delay sex until after his TV shows are over. Television will make you lazy and then you will fall into the sex traps that we are trying to avoid here. Instead of watching the boob tube, read a book to your lady. She loves to hear your voice, and the lower your voice, the better off you are. You see, if you read lying in bed with your head up, you will force your sound waves down an octave. This happens because you use your diaphragm instead of your lungs to push out your breath. Low voices coincide with testosterone and your lady can’t get enough of your manliness.

The sixth and final mistake we will mention here is the bad habit of holding hands excessively. Don’t get me wrong … holding hands is great. It’s is sensual to feel the soft skin of your partner’s hand. It shows a connection two people have. But too much of it just defeats the purpose. Instead, touch other parts of her body. The nape of a woman’s neck is a very sexy, sensitive area. Caress her there, softly kiss her there. She will get excited … trust me. I know.

Whether you are guilty of none, one or all of the above mistakes, everyone can benefit from variety in their sex life. Learning how to correct the mistakes that you or others have made will surely up your sexual IQ. Don’t you want to be sexy and smart?

For us men, it’s our members and prostate glands that are the keys to sexual nirvana. Women also have two main important sexual triggers: the clitoris and the g-spot.

Most of us men probably already know how to stimulate the clitoris but their G-spots? They’re not called mysterious spots for nothing! Truth be told, few men even know where the g-spot is. But this is for sure: if you know where it is, lucky you, because inducing gspot orgasms is one sure-fire way to getting yourself declared a great lover.

How to Find the G-spot

The g-spot, or the Grafenberg Spot, is situated behind her pubic bone, up with the front walls of her vagina. It actually feels a bit rough, like the upper wall of your mouth, and is situated along the urethra (the passageway through which she urinates). As for exact measurements and location though, there are none because each woman is different.

As a guide, consider this: her navel is at the 12 o’clock position. Her gspot is somewhere from 11 to 1 o’clock. If she’s aroused, the gspot will be slightly engorged. If not, you need to feel around for that slightly rough ridge!

Found the G-Spot… Now What?

Mind-blowing gspot climaxes are often set off by brief but continuous friction. One of the best ways to achieve this is when you engage in doggy-style sex. This is because your penis is angled in such a way that it steadily ‘hits’ the gspot.

Master this sexual position and gspot stimulation technique and your woman will not know what hit her. Gone are the days when she would ‘fake it’ so as not to hurt your feelings (or because she just wants to stop already!). On the contrary, she’ll be staring at you as if you’re some Adonis or something.

However, if, for some reason, you can’t stimulate her gspot with this sexual position, don’t worry. There’s always your index finger.

As mentioned above, the g-spot becomes slightly engorged when she’s aroused. In fact, it can puff up to the size of about a large quarter. Don’t take my word for it though as all women are different! Still, this should make it easier for your finger to distinguish the gspot inside her; and from there on, she’s all yours!

Now, when she’s really turned on, be warned that she may complain that she needs to ‘pee’. This is a normal reaction especially if this is her first time to reach a gspot climax. When she does come, her ejaculation will probably look different than her normal come, which in turn may convince her (and you) that she did pee. She didn’t; or even of she did it’s not a much as she thought; believe me most of that is due to her ‘cumming’ so wildly.

Spot It the Best Way you Know How

There are several things you can try to find her mega pleasure nub.

• Ask your partner to lie down, legs slightly apart and place a pillow beneath her buttocks to elevate her groin.

• Gently but firmly put in two fingers (palm up) insider her and then gently explore her vaginal wall. You’re looking for a slightly puffed up, ridged surface. Be sure to pay attention to her face and reactions to see if you’re causing pleasure or pain. As you get nearer her gspot, you’ll notice that she’s moving her body a bit to guide you.

• Use your other hand and put your palm on her abdomen, applying a bit of pressure. This pressure will help you stimulate the g-spot from the inside further.

By now, she should be grinding the sheets beneath her from pleasure, quickly assume any of the positions suggested below.

The Best Positions for G-Spot Orgasms

Position #1. Doggy-style.

Guide her until she’s on all fours, with her behind slightly elevated towards you. Get behind her and slowly penetrate from behind. As you thrust, try to remember where her g-spot is and try to reach it with the tip of your penis. After a few, steady aims don’t be surprised if she starts screaming as waves of pleasure hit her.

Position #2. The Butterfly.

Ask your partner to lie down, and then place a pillow beneath her buttocks to elevate her groin. Assume the missionary position, and then gently guide her knees to he breasts. As in position #1, aim to hit her gspot as you thrust in and out.

Position #3. Woman-on-Top with a Twist.

Lie down and give your woman ample access to your ’sword’. However, instead of facing you, ask her to face your outstretched legs instead. (A great bonus for you is that you get to see her sexy behind.) This position is absolutely great for hitting her g-spot. One thing to keep in mind though, as she reaches her wild orgasm, ensure that you can control her movements a bit so she doesn’t end up snapping your penis!

There you have it; all you need to know to bring her to a glorious g-spot orgasm.

Use the above tips wisely and be prepared for a climax that will surely hit her wildly.

Be careful not to get sweet substances like whipped cream actually inside the vagina, however. There is a delicate balance there which could lead to infection if disturbed by too much sugar. Other than that, though, the sky is mostly the limit with food in the bedroom. Some people use different kinds of food for masturbation, but most people prefer the bedroom cuisine experience to be one that they share with their partner.

Restraints like handcuffs are a common sex toy option, but there are many others. For women, the most common sex toys are probably vibrators and dildos. These are designed to give stimulation and many are modeled after the look and feel of a penis. If you want to enjoy something with your partner, there are also anal sex toys that are designed to be much more comfortable than using vaginal toys in that manner.

There are also ‘alone time’ toys for men, as well as penis extensions for a man who wants to give his partner a little more length or width, or for ‘being someone else’ during a role playing fantasy. If those aren’t enough, you can get cock rings, and these will prolong the length of an erection, letting your intimate time last longer. If you take good care of your sex toys they will last you a long time, so make sure you care for them correctly and that you buy good quality.

Know what they’re made out of and get what you like – not what you think you should buy based on the opinions of others.

You can also wear condoms, as the stimulation is not as strong that way. Another option is to masturbate regularly, because you’ll be more comfortable with and used to the stimulation. You can also use sex toys to ‘build your immunity’ to pleasure and you can try the squeeze technique by wrapping thumb and finger around the penis when you’re close to ejaculation and squeezing firmly. You will hold back the response that way, especially if you squeeze the urethra, which runs along the underside.

Like a road trip, achieving orgasm through intercourse requires a map. This will explain to you how one phase leads to another, and how disturbance in one phase may lead to failure to orgasm.

Phase One: Desire to Have Sex

Sex starts when the man and the woman start thinking of sex. Perhaps you have started kissing during your date, or have been exchanging sexual innuendos over the phone for a time now.

Sexual tension is present and has built to a point when it must be released. You may have avoided the sexual tension in the past, but now the opportunity to have sex and relieve that tension is available and you take it.

What goes wrong during this phase that causes failure to orgasm?

1. Orgasm failure happens when only one partner has sufficient desire to keep the sex going. Maybe your partner simply wants to sleep after a hard day at work, and won’t want to “waste” time making love.
2. Past failures to orgasm – A person who has always achieved orgasm through sex won’t see intercourse as a chore. Sex will be the reward that she gives herself after enduring a day full of mundane chores. The opposite happens when sex has always been “ordinary” to her; which means that she has always viewed sex as something that she has to do to give her partner pleasure, and not something that can give her an orgasm.

   The desire to have sex must be present and she must be eager to spend time under the sheets with you for sex to happen.

Phase Two: Excitement

In one word: foreplay! Women get excited with fondling and licking. Like men, they have hot buttons that must be pushed to get stimulated further. Knowing exactly how to fondle and kiss her pleasure centers will make her look forward to this phase of the sexual process. The amount of mental and physical stimulation you give her during this phase will determine the intensity of orgasm.

What goes wrong during this phase that leads to orgasm failure in the woman?

1. A man may get too cocky (or too excited) and go for his own pleasure without thinking of his partner’s. Some men get too motivated by their own orgasm to even consider the women’s. There are some men who simply manipulate the whole process of foreplay so that he can be gratified.
2. His technique sucks – Fingering or cunnilingus may be performed by anyone, but did you know that there are proper ways to do these? Maybe you have tried fingering a girl and she ended up dry and discontented (or even sore) after a while without even achieving climax? Eating a girl out also requires some special techniques that guarantee fast orgasm and more pleasure for her.

In this article, we will compare lame sex to great sex using the food analogy. There are only two types of meals in the world: regular food that stops your hunger and those food stuffs that you’re craving to eat.

Lame Sex

Lame sex is like the ordinary meals that we eat on a daily basis. You know the “regular meals” quite well. They are available anywhere, and they only serve to satisfy our hunger for the time being. Sure, these types of food are mouthwatering to someone who’s hungry and they can definitely satisfy the appetite, but a person will not spend thousands in airfare or gas to get to a restaurant that serves this type of food.

Lame sex, like regular meals get old after a while. These don’t excite you anymore and you barely remember the last time you had it. These have become routine. You don’t crave for these and soon you will find yourself saying “this again?”

There’s a way of spicing up your sex life and turn lame sex into great sex; the same way as you would turn an ordinary meal into a fancy dinner. Now in the food analogy, you may add a sauce or some spices to the regular meals you eat and call it your “specialty”. You may even enroll in a cooking school to learn the best way to braise, fry, bake and sauté. You understand that to be good at something, like cooking or having sex, you must learn the unique techniques that will spell the difference between lame and great.

What is great sex?

How exactly does one quantify whether sex is great or not? Simply put, great sex is the type that always leads to orgasm in the man and the woman. Sex is always great when climax is achieved, because this is the pinnacle of pleasure that you and your partner can achieve once you start the process of sexual arousal.

You need to make women WANT to have sex with you, and you can only do that if you can get her to orgasm each and every time you have sex with her. This means putting her into an orgasmic trance, stimulating her enough to have her screaming (begging) for more.

Great sex will make her think of only the pleasure you are giving her. This means no mental distraction to take her mind off the pleasure.

If you can give your girlfriend or wife this kind of pleasure through sex each and every time you make love, then you are sure that she will crave for it like she craves her favorite dishes.

For example you meet a woman who confesses that she has never felt orgasm during sex in the past, what is the first thing that comes to mind? You might assume that she’s frigid, she’s sick or her husband is not skilled at sex. One or more of these could be true, but it could also be her negative approach towards the fact the orgasm during sex is possible.

Regular women who don’t have any problems achieving climax during masturbation but fail to climax during sex are not frigid. They may need something more than the usual in-out movements during sex to make them orgasm. It’s partly the man’s responsibility to get her close to orgasm; stimulate her; and make her think of herself as a desirable sex goddess. However, when a woman has reached her sexual trance, it’s up to her to push herself over the brink of orgasm, and a negative mindset will definitely affect this stage of the sex.

Women and their partners should learn how to identify the many factors that get women off during sex. Factors like…

What turns her on in bed

Mental excitement is every bit as important as physical stimulation during sex. Exciting her mentally means making her think about the things that are sexy to her. Some women love watching porn with their boyfriends or husbands because it’s a turn on, while others would rather read an erotic story or two from her romance novels. Some women get turned on when they watch their husbands or boyfriends masturbate. Every woman has a secret fetish or two, and if you know that and can use it to further stimulate her, she will climax faster.

How relaxed she is during sex

Many women don’t bother to have sex or simply “endure” sex because their partners crave it. This notion makes these women tense up during sex, which translates to thinking about other things during penetration, half-hearted attempts at foreplay and focusing on how tired they are already. A man must help her relax, get her in the proper mindset and keep her from thinking of climaxing (or not climaxing).

The man’s sex skills

She might find it funny if a guy attacks her clitoris like a rabid disk jockey would a turntable during a rave party, but this type of technique won’t get her off. Learn how to finger her, how to kiss her, when to nibble and when to lick to provide maximum pleasure. Getting the proper sex skills means being aware of a woman’s hot buttons, and how exactly you can touch and lick these buttons for her to get closer to orgasm.

Will a woman cheat on a man who is not a good lover? It depends. Most women stick around even after finding out that their men are not good in bed because of emotional and psychological reasons. If you’re not a good lover, she might not cheat on you, but she’ll probably lose any respect she has for you (sexually) as a man… Remember that while you were seducing her, teasing her and flirting with her, you were giving her the vibe that she will enjoy having sex with you. Not doing so at the “point of sale” so to speak will make her think twice about sex with you again.

Some of the myths that keep men from being the sex masters that they want to be include penis size and physical appearance. If you have ever felt like you don’t have everything you need to make her squirm in pleasure and fantasize about you for a long time after the sex, then these tips are for you.

1. Penis size – I can say this with conviction… size does NOT matter. My advice to men who have created this problem inside their minds is this: your penis is the tool that you use to give pleasure; if you are able to give her pleasure by using it, regardless of the size, then it is effective.
2. She has her own sexual ideas and fantasies – Your goal is to find out through her body language and by asking her directly what she likes. There are women who are too shy to talk about their fantasies in detail so your job is to tune in to what she really wants by taking note of how she reacts to things you do. You can also take note of how she caresses you. Does it seem like she’s pushing your head down? Does it feel like she’s pressing your hand on one particular body part?
3. Continue seducing her, caressing and flirting with her even after the initial foreplay. – Foreplay has always been regarded as the intimacy time, when couples kiss and excite each other. The biggest problem with this notion is that foreplay is no longer done when she’s wet, and he’s hard and all they have to do is get on with the sex. There are many sex positions that allow couples to still kiss and fondle even while performing intercourse.