What do you believe about relationships?

Your beliefs are important because they determine the relationship (or lack of relationship) you end up with.

For example, if you believe that all men cheat, you’ll attract cheaters. If you believe that men resist commitment, you’ll probably end up with a guy who’s in no hurry to sit for an engagement photo.

If you believe you don’t have what it takes to meet a guy who’ll love you for the rest of your life, guess what? You’re right.

Change your beliefs, and you’ll change the type of men –and relationships — you attract.

If you find yourself dating the same type of guy over and over, it is definitely going to mess with your belief system (and it’s probably a result of your belief system!). You probably don’t think that a guy who’ll make you happy really exists. I’ll bet you find yourself working too hard every time you start a relationship, or go on a date, or even to a party.

Stop.

I want you to sit down and ask yourself what you want out of your next relationship. Decide what you want in a man, instead of obsessing over how to get a man, how to please a man, and how to dress for a man.

After you determine what you want, jot it down. Then write an affirmation around it.

Here’s the one that worked for me:

“I am happily married to a loyal, loving, reliable, successful, fun man.”

(Because I formerly attracted guys who cheated, went hot and cold on me, didn’t call or show up when they said they would, and weren’t particularly fun.)

I’d really feel it, too. I brought all my senses into what it would be like to be married to a loyal, loving, reliable, successful, fun man.

What would it look like?

Feel like?

Smell like?

Taste like?

Sound like?

When I wasn’t writing my affirmation, I went about my life as usual. I went to work. I hung out on Friday and Saturday nights with my friends. All the while, I kept writing (and feeling) my affirmations every day.

Then, the man I married walked into my life. The beautiful thing is, we’re actually happily married. Too many couples aren’t.

Would you like to be happily married someday?

You can have what you want if you know what you want, and if you believe it’s possible.

Affirmations will make it possible.

Decide what you want. Think up an affirmation and write it 15-20 times every single day. Before you know it, you’ll be dating better men, perhaps the one who’ll bring you joy for the rest of your life.

About the Author

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of “How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams.” Sign up for her free dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com . Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com .

The greatest piece of dating advice I ever got came from a friend’s mother, and it was this: “Whatever a guy tells you, take it at face value.”

Since I was the type to hyperanalyze a man’s every comment, gesture, or sneeze, this advice came as an epiphany to me. It freed me from having to decipher what “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” meant, for instance, especially when the guy who blurted it had been happily spending his every free moment with me.

The current issue of a popular women’s magazine offers two articles telling single women how to decipher their man’s true feelings. The first, entitled “The Male Brain Explained” is self-explanatory. The second, “Understand His Mating Mind-Set,” purports to help the reader to interpret where her guy’s head is, so that she can “better date and relate to him.” Give me a break.

Here’s my take on this school of dating:

It is not your job to figure out what a guy is thinking (or how his flipping brain operates). It’s not your responsibility to help him get in touch with his feelings, or overcome the childhood trauma of having to flush his dead goldfish down the toilet (which resulted in the shutting down of said feelings), or teach him how to communicate in an intelligible fashion.

Your job is to accept what he says at face value, and that, my friend, is extremely freeing.

Once a guy utters: “It’s not you, it’s me,” “I’m not good enough for you, or “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” believe him. Accept that he is telling the truth (the exception to this rule is, “She didn’t mean a thing to me, I swear!”).

Act accordingly.

If you want a happy relationship, you need a partner who can express himself, is affectionate, and who genuinely cares about your feelings. You need someone who is in touch with his emotions. You need a man who possesses the courage that falling in love requires.

You will not find him while you’re analyzing why another guy announced that he wasn’t in love hours after spending an earth-shaking night with you, during which he seemed entirely besotted.

Say goodbye to the joker and open yourself to love with a better man. Stop yourself cold from making excuses. Banish him from your mind.

Hold out for the guy who deserves you.

About the Author

Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of “How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams.” Sign up for her f*ree dating tips at http://www.marrysmart.com . Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com .

So you’ve decided to start searching for Mr. or Ms. Right online. Good for you! So now what? What should you consider first? Well, first and foremost, decide on what you want to get out of this experience. Do you merely want to find a movie buddy? Someone to date on special occasions? Are you looking for a long-term relationship? “Holy Matrimony”? A boyfriend/girlfriend? A sex buddy? Before you “jump into the pool” so to speak, it would be a good idea to think about exactly what it is that you’re looking to get out of this experience.

The first secret (and it’s more of a commom sense thing than a secret) of online dating would be, “Decide EXACTLY what it is that you want to get out of this experience.” It really will help guide you as you meander your way through the online dating maze.

Here’s to happy dating!

Nicolette.

Copyright 2005 Nicolette Arden All Rights Reserved
About the Author

Nicolette Arden is an experienced online dater (now married to her Mr. Right after finding him online), and consultant to those with dating and relationship issues. Read more of Nicolette’s internet dating advice at www.internetdatingsecrets.blogspot.com.

“Here’s to happy dating!”

Online dating is no longer the pariah that it was back in say, 2000. Almost every single person I know has tried it between then and now. Hell, I’ve even tried it. It’s not as bad as some say it is.

As far as I’m concerned, there is one hard rule when it comes to online dating, and I’ll let you in on it shortly.

Let me tell you first, about a friend of mine.

I have a female friend who was so jaded with regard to relationships and dating, that she had been single for about 3 years. Her past experiences with men were so negative, that she’d rather not risk getting into another relationship with anyone. Her last boyfriend would go to the bar, and once he was good and liquored up, he would call her from there to let her know that she should move out of their apartment, because he had found someone else. Every other time that he went to the bar, he would do this. And yet, she stayed with him. This was not someone that she found online. This was someone that she knew from work, and had begun dating.

After finally breaking up with him (she stayed with him for 3 years), she decided that she would rather be single than be involved with men again, who, in her opinion, were all basically dishonest cheats.

After 3 years of literal celibacy, she decided that maybe she should get over her general distrust of men, and I convinced her to try online dating, because I had done it for awhile, and hadn’t yet found “the one”, but I met some really nice people.

On my friend’s first date, she thought that she might be a tad late, so she called this dude to let him know that. As it turned out, she was right on time, but as she got to the restaurant, she received a text message from him saying that he was in the parking lot, and that she should call him when she entered the store (coffee shop). Red flag #1. In our conversation about this, she distinctly asked me, “Do you think that’s weird?” To which I replied, “Don’t YOU think it’s weird? You should.”

This guy also said in his profile that he was 6′0″ tall. When he came into the coffee shop, it turned out that he was much closer to 5′8″ than six feet. Red flag #2. She ignored it because she thought they got along so well. That should have been the only time that she met him. Remember this about online dating; someone who lies about something as obvious as his/her height or weight, will lie about anything.

On their second date, she went to his house to watch a movie. At which time, he told her that he had guns at his place (that she never saw), because he used to be a security guard. Then, he told her that he’s also in the British Army, and that’s also why he has guns. Okay people, we don’t live anywhere near Britain. Red flags #3 and #4!! Then she asked me if I thought he was being truthful. I was astounded. I wanted to reach out and shake her! Do you want to know why she actually decided to stop seeing this dude? Because he doesn’t like Oprah! All of that other nonsense was acceptable to her, but dude doesn’t like Oprah, and she dumps him!

The one hard rule about online dating? Follow your gut. Obviously, my friend was skeptical about whether or not this dude was telling the truth. She had that feeling in her gut, but chose not to follow it. Thank God he told her that he doesn’t like Oprah, or who knows how much she would have put up with.

Follow your gut. If something doesn’t seem right, run. Run far, and run fast. Don’t look back. If a woman tells you on your first date that she’s on medication for depression, run. Not to sound unsympathetic, but if she’s giving you that information on the first date, she most likely has problems that are much bigger than that.

If after your first date, the other party calls you on your way home, to ask, “Well, what did you think? Do you think we’re a match?” Run. And keep running.

Follow your gut. I can’t say it enough. If it just doesn’t feel right, run.

Here’s to great dating!

Chris A. Cameron

Copyright 2006 Chris A. Cameron All Rights Reserved.



About the author:

Chris A. Cameron is an avid dater, who believes that though they can be intimidating to the average guy, gorgeous women are no different than anyone else. Read more of Chris’ dating suggestions at http://haveanywoman.blogspot.com.

In nearly 5 years of online dating, I found that a large percentage of men (and I hear that women do it too), lie about themselves in one way or another. Typically, it’s height that most men are dishonest about, and I hear that women most often lie about their weight. In my profile, I said that I was partial to men who were 6′0″ or taller. As a result, I met more than a few men who said that they were 6′0″ tall, but upon meeting them, I found that they were usually much shorter. I can honestly say, that in the years that I was dating online, I must have met dozens of men, and in my estimation, a good 80% of them were completely dishonest only with regard to their height.

Online dating sites are repetitive in their advice to post a picture with your profile. They’re right. You will most definitely get more responses to your profile if you add your picture, than you will if you don’t. The first time that I went online and did my profile, I didn’t post a picture, because (and this is a common excuse), I didn’t want anyone I knew to fluke onto my picture online. At that time, I posted the profile, and within minutes I received about 3 or 4 “smiles” or some sites call them “winks”. Okay, not amazing, right? About 2 weeks later, discouraged with the number and type or attention I was receiving, I posted a picture. The response was instant. I was swamped. The site administrators are definitely right. The profile with the picture gets much more attention than the no picture profile.

When you’re posting a profile picture, in gawd’s name, PLEASE post a picture that is RECENT. Recent picture means within the last year or two. Too many times daters (men and women) post pictures of themselves that are 9, 10, sometimes 15 or 20 years old, taken way back when they were 40 or 50 pounds lighter, had more hair, and before they began to look like they do at present. Nothing is more frustrating than meeting someone who posted a picture of themselves that is older than dirt! Most times, they don’t even look like the same person. DO NOT POST AN ANCIENT PICTURE OF YOURSELF?EVER! Save yourself the embarrassment, and post a recent picture. I know women who have walked out on dates with men who were dishonest with regard to their physical description. And they should!

If you’re going to date online, do it right. Be honest, and include a RECENT picture with your profile. Nobody wants to see a 20 year old picture of you expecting that that’s who they’ll be meeting. It’ll only get you a bad reaction from the other party. Save yourself the humiliation and headache, and be honest from the beginning.

Here’s to happy dating!

Nicolette.

Copyright 2005 Nicolette Arden All Rights Reserved.

About the Author

Nicolette Arden is a writer, and relationship consultant who has extensive experience with online dating. She is now married to her “Mr. Right”, a man that she met online. Read more of Nicolette’s advice at www.internetdatingsecrets.blogspot.com.

Women can orgasm several different ways, via clitoral, vaginal, and of course the G-Spot, the latter can give her a massively satisfying orgasm if stimulated correctly.
Here we will look at how to find it and give your partner immense pleasure once you do!
Where is the G Spot?
The G-Spot is the area to target for maximum sexual arousal.
You will be able to help give added pleasure and a mind blowing climax to your partner if you can locate and stimulate it.
The G-Spot is essentially a bean shaped area of nerve tissue, located about halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the top of a women’s cervix.
The size and location of the G-Spot will vary between women, but it usually lies about 1.5” to 3” inside the vagina.

• Standing 1 – Although rear entry is often a good method for helping your partner orgasm, not all women are comfortable being in the “doggy-style” position. A variation of that position can be done while standing, which is particularly useful for unusual locations, such as public bathrooms, or right after coming home from an evening out. You stand behind your partner while she is bent over slightly, then penetrate from the rear. The best thing about this position is that you can lovingly reach around her and stroke her clitoris while you’re penetrating her from behind.

• Standing 2 – Both partners don’t have to be standing for deep penetration to occur. If you want to try something a little more interesting, then this technique may be a good one. You’ll need a sturdy bar stool (which can be inexpensively purchased almost anywhere if you don’t already have one). Have your partner slide onto the stool while you stand completely naked in front of her. If you’re still working on foreplay, this is a good way to add in some heavy kissing and stroking. While you maintain those positions, you’ll slide your penis inside her. Not only does this provide enjoyable penetration for both of you, but you’ll be able to continue the foreplay more easily than with most methods because you’ll still be facing one another and you’ll be very close together.

• Standing Position 3 – Some couples are surprised at how many ways they can have sex in a standing position. The great thing about these positions is not only that they can help your partner achieve a strong orgasm, but they also can seem more naughty and dangerous to your partner. We’ll talk more about this a little later in the chapter. With this particular variation, you’ll stand behind your partner while she is bending over, almost as if she’s trying to touch her toes. While she’s bent over, you’ll be in the perfect position for penetration and for stimulating her Gspot. What’s even better is that this position can be used almost anywhere.

• Standing Position 4 – Here is another interesting idea with this type of position, particularly if your partner has a police officer fantasy. In this position, your partner faces a wall and spreads herself out as if she was about to be searched by a police officer. You come behind her for penetration. While your in the middle of the fun, you can always pretend to be the arresting officer who finds a new way to punish (or pleasure) law breakers.

• Other Positions 1 – Not all positions are easily classifiable. This one, for example, is a combination of the side by side and missionary positions, but it offers you a chance to achieve deep penetration while also making it easier for you to gently massage your partner’s clitoris. To achieve these benefits, she needs to be lying on her side while you’re in a kneeling position. Raise her upper leg over your shoulder so you’ll be able to slide inside of her. Many of the women I’ve worked with have found this position to be one of their favorites for achieving orgasm, so I highly recommend trying it with your partner.

• Other Positions 2 – Another interesting position the two of you may want to try involves one partner standing and the other stretched out on the bed. In this case, your partner lies face down on the bed, then scoots her body down until everything below her waist is hanging off the end of the bed. This is where you come in. You stand at the end of the bed, as close to the mattress as possible, and hold her legs in your arms. If necessary, you can lift her up a little so her vagina is more lined up with your pelvis. As you continue to hold her legs, you can begin thrusting inside her. The reason this position has high orgasmic potential for your partner is that the angle of her pelvis means your penis is going to be stimulating her G-spot and that usually leads to very good things.

• Using Toys 1 – Some men have a hard time allowing sex toys in the bedroom. They sometimes feel insecure and worry that if their partner is more satisfied by a plastic toy than their own flesh and blood penis then they may not be as necessary in her life. The truth is, however, that sex toys can be an incredible addition to any couple’s sex lives and can tremendously increase a woman’s ability to reach orgasm. Clitoral suckers are one example. These toys do exactly what their name says: they suck against the clitoris. You can use these on your partner while you are penetrating her from any position or in any location. They will provide her with intense stimulation which will only be enhanced further by your penetration.

• Using Toys 2 – If you don’t like the idea of using toys on your partner, why not use them on yourself? Vibrating cock rings are one possibility. These toys fit around the shaft of your penis and, of course, vibrate. During vaginal penetration, the cock ring will give your partner the same type of experience she would have using a vibrator, plus the vibration will boost your pleasure as well.

About the Author:

Gabrielle Moore is author of the best-selling book The G Spot Code, a manual that helps men please their female partners with an intense G Spot orgasm every time. Download your FREE Report from: http://www.femaleorgasmsrevealed.com

Named after Ernst Grafenberg, the German physician who first studies it, the Grafenberg Spot or G-spot has been a subject of interest for lots of men and women due to its purposes for sexual stimulation. Its actual existence has been the subject of rumors and anecdotes for a lot of men and some women since it is not easily encountered or stimulated.

One thing about the Gspot is that it is not an actual “spot” but merely an area that responds well to stimulation. It is commonly found at the side nearest your belly button called the anterior wall. The effect of stimulation is also different for every woman, which further makes people doubt its existence. For some women, stimulation of the G-spot brings about deep and intense orgasms that rival or even best orgasms that came from stimulating the clitoris, yet for some women, stimulation of the gspot just makes them feel like they have to pee. A smaller number even report not feeling anything upon stimulation.

Some studies purport that the G-spot is the female equivalent of the male prostate gland,  but there is currently no study that can prove or disprove this theory. While its exact purpose and capability is still not defined or discovered by experts, the G-spot definitely exists and available for people who wish to find it. Currently, all people can bank on is the fact that it is just another part of the female body, and the effects of stimulation will vary with every woman.

Having a hard time achieving female orgasms?   Here’s a survey that suggests doing Kegals (pelvic floor exercises) could increase your chances of hitting the G-spot and experience a female orgasm:

From: http://www.orgasmsurvey.co.uk/pressrelease.htm

To celebrate National Orgasm Day on 31 July 2008, Pelvic Toner and Scarlet magazine conducted the UK’s biggest and most comprehensive female orgasm survey ever, with over 2000 women sharing their most intimate secrets…

Key Findings

• Nearly half of all women are not getting their share of orgasms!

• The G-spot is not a myth – 75% of women claim to have one. And women who don’t think they have a G-spot rarely orgasm

• Women who claim to have a good pelvic floor have twice as many orgasms as those who don’t

• Women who undertake regular pelvic floor exercises using a resistance device reported a much improved sex life within 4 weeks

Survey results

• 72% of women say they are aware of their G-spot but its location varies significantly!

• 50% place the G-spot just inside their vagina while 35% say it’s deep inside. The remaining 15% locate it elsewhere!

• 46% never or rarely achieve vaginal orgasm during penetrative sex

• Only 31% claim to do so often or always

• 36% never or rarely achieve clitoral orgasm during penetrative sex, but 85% often or always achieve clitoral orgasm by self-stimulation

• 69% are aware that pelvic floor muscle tone is implicated in the ability to achieve orgasm, but 12% rate their pelvic floor as poor or very poor

• 70% of women claim to exercise their pelvic muscles sometimes or often, but 92% would like to be shown how to exercise properly

• Those women who rate their pelvic floor as good or very good, or who exercise regularly, are twice as likely to achieve vaginal orgasms as those that rate their pelvic floor as poor or very poor (42% versus 22%)

• There’s a similar pattern with clitoral orgasms but it’s slightly less marked

• Two thirds of women who rate their pelvic floor as poor or very poor never or rarely have vaginal orgasms

• 42% of women using the Pelvic Toner said they became more aware of their pelvic floor immediately, rising to 85% within 2 weeks

• 62% of women using the Pelvic Toner reported an improved sex life within 2 weeks rising to 82% after 4 weeks

• 62% said that their partner noticed the improvement in muscle tone and tightness

Comments from survey respondents

• “Until I bought a vibrator I had never had an orgasm of any kind. At the grand old age of 43 it came as quite a shock!”

• “I’ve recently discovered G-spot vaginal orgasms with my husband stimulating the area with his fingers and have been experimenting with the clitoral orgasm alongside G-spot vaginal stimulation. This exercise is enjoyable and also I believe keeps my muscles in shape.”

• “My pelvic floor muscles were excellent plus prior to childbirth. I’m aware of lack of strength. What I don’t understand is how 12 hours of labour can ruin muscle tone, which had been in excellent condition for the twenty years prior to childbirth. It seems disproportionate and unfair.”

• “Just to say that in my experience the frequency and quality of vaginal orgasms is very much linked to your partner! I consider myself very lucky now, and if I had been counting and rating orgasms more than five years ago it would have been a very different story!”

• “I’m having the best sex and more orgasms since I got past 40. I’m comfortable in my body, with my partner and my libido has gone through the roof!”

• “I can bring myself to vaginal orgasm by pelvic floor exercises.”

• “I’ve enjoyed sex for years with a variety of enthusiastic and skilled partners and never had an orgasm.”

• “I always achieve clitoral orgasm through stimulation by my husband. I do not believe that there is a ‘G-spot’.”

• “I’m lucky that I have multiple orgasms even at my age. This could be due to my taking HRT. My partner and I have a very good sexual relationship and we are both pensioners.”

• “To be honest I’m not really sure what the difference is between the two types of orgasm. I just know that I reach orgasm easily.”

• “Learn to belly dance! That’s the best way to tighten those PC muscles!”

Why an Orgasm Survey

There has never been a detailed survey asking women what type of orgasms they experience.

While many women experience, and can easily distinguish between, clitoral and vaginal (or G-spot) orgasms, there are still many women, commentators and doctors who deny the very existence of the G-spot and a distinct vaginal orgasm.

In 1966 Masters and Johnson used direct observation of 382 women and dispelled the existence of a distinct vaginal orgasm.

Studies over 50 years have estimated that between 50% and 90% of women have never experienced a vaginal orgasm.

Early in 2008 Prof Emmanuelle Jannini reported that women had to have detectable signs of a G-spot (using ultrasound) to be able to achieve a vaginal orgasm.

It has been known for nearly 60 years, but rarely publicised, that the condition of the pelvic floor muscle is a key indicator in the ability to achieve vaginal orgasm. Arnold Kegel, of the eponymous exercise routine, published a 3000 patient study in 1952 that highlighting this link and demonstrated that ‘sexually dysfunctional’ women taught a resistive exercise programme could achieve orgasm for the first time.

Demonstrating and publicising the link between a healthy and strong pelvic floor and better sex will improve the general health and sexual wellbeing of millions of women, restore millions of relationships, and reduce the incidence of stress incontinence which afflicts half of all women.

The PelvicToner™ is a progressive resistance vaginal exerciser designed to help women meet the fundamentals of Kegel exercise (ie to identify and isolate the vaginal (pubococcygeal) muscle and then to exercise it properly against a variable resistance with the appropriate bio-feedback).

“Dr Arnold Kegel reported a landmark study in 1952 linking sexual satisfaction for women and the muscle tone of their pelvic floor. In many ways, we have failed women ever since by not telling them how to do these exercises correctly. The secret – as identified by Kegel – is to improve muscle tone by exercising against resistance. People understand that to improve muscle it’s no good just lifting our arms in the air, no matter how many repetitions we do. We have to introduce some form of resistance to get good results, and it’s the same with pelvic floor exercise. Encouraging women to squeeze repeatedly when sat on the bus or to use devices that do not offer resistance, means many women are wasting their time and increasing their sense of frustration.” Dr Sarah Brewer, GP and sexual health expert

“It’s 60 years since Arnold Kegel proposed pelvic floor exercises as a treatment for stress incontinence but a simple, effective method of putting all his principles into practice has eluded us. The PelvicToner seems to meet all the requirements that Kegel envisaged – it is a simple, patient-friendly, progressive resistance exercise device and provides feedback to the patient that the correct muscles are being engaged.” Paul Abrams, Professor of Urology at the Bristol Urological Institute

Along with knowing what to do in the bedroom, strong & healthy pelvic floor muscles are key to reaching female orgasms.

If you want to check out the survey results to date, go here: http://www.orgasmsurvey.co.uk/report.htm